i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
