Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
