i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
