I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
