do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
