Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
