There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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