Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
