This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
