my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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