Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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