we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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