Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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