walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
