So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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