White coat. Heels.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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