roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
