someone threw a dead crab at me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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