So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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