Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
