then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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