yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
