Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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