No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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