i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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