i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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