a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
