no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
