I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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