I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
only if we run a train.
done.
i dont even know how to be here
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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