I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
