just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
