My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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