You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
