do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
