Duck Duck Cougar?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
