All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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