On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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