he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
