do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
