I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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