I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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