dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
