Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
