So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
