I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
