can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
