my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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