I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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