You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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