My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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