no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
