Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
