I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have tasted many bathrooms
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
